VJ and The Beanstalk

[VJDJ(GHerrera3)]

This is a story about Jack and The Beanstalk. Today, I am creating my story called, “VJ and The Beanstalk”. I was coming home from work and this guy named Eddie Sanchez was selling me a bean for $30.00 to grow in the plant. I paid him $30.00 and he gave me the beans. I know Eddie Sanchez for a long time. He use to be our neighbor from 19th Street in Astoria, NY.

Eddie: Mira, te vendo las habichuelas por $30.00. Usted la puede usar pa tu casa. Dime, como esta Juan Carlos? Ni años lo veo al el (Look, I will sell you the beans for $30.00. You can use them in your house for planting. Tell me, Where is John Charles? I haven’t see him for many years).

VJDJ: El esta en La Florida. Gracias (He is in Florida. Thanks).

When I was coming home, it started to rain outside. So I rush running to the house with my umbrella. I had carried a bag of beans. One the beans fell out of the bag and spread over the grass. I came home and my mother, my father, and my grandma were inside.

Mom: Llegaste mojado del trabajo (You came wet from work). Secate (Dry up).

Grandma: Mijo. Llegaste mojado (Son. You came wet).

VJDJ: Es que acabo de llegar del trabajo (I just came from work).

So I ate dinner and started to use the computer. I got paid from work. So I went to bed and it was fuckin’ raining outside at night. We all went to bed. It was pouring outside. As the water pass down the grass, a piece of beans started to germinated into the soil and started to grow as a tree. The next morning, I just woke up and I step out of the house. When I came out, I saw this long green tree goes high as the sky. So I climb up further few feet up. When I climb up, I saw this big mansion house. It was a paradise castle gate. I went there and it was gigantic. When I went there, I saw my ex-girlfriend that I have seen her for 28 years. We met in high school at that time. I am 5’ 3” tall and my ex-girlfriend is about the same height as me. Her boyfriend (husband) is 6’ 2” but you guys haven’t see him grow gigantic. He is now 69 feet tall and he is living with his girlfriend (wife) which happen to be my ex-girlfriend.

Little Cathy: VJ. How are you? I missed you. We haven’t seen each for 28 years.

VJDJ: I missed you too Cathy. What are you doing hear?

Little Cathy: Well, as time goes by; you know my boyfriend, we officially got married a long time ago. My husband use to be 6’ 2” and for some reason, he ate this type fruit and make him grow. He is now 69 feet tall. So we moved to a bigger paradise. VJ. You can’t be here. I don’t want my husband to catch you. He doesn’t want me to see any other guys that he may not know who they are.

VJDJ: I see. I know Cathy. He is quite a big guy. I remembered you said to my friends that you can’t wait to see your boyfriend in Mc Donald’s Restaurant. You said to them that he is big.

Little Cathy: That was a long time ago when I was about to graduate in class 1981. How do you know?

VJDJ: Well, I got left back in 1980 and I was outside in school. I missed you and my friends.

As her husband was thumping walking by, he said;

Ted: Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell the blood of an Hispanic man.
Be he 'live, or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.
Little Cathy: VJ! Go!

Ted: Aha! I see. You’re the one messing with my girl.

Little Cathy: Now Ted. Hold on. Ted. This is VJDJ and VJ, this is my husband Ted that I was telling you for a long time.

Ted: I heard about you man. You was the one that was trying to steal my girlfriend a long time ago. Listen brother, we got married a long time ago and we have kid.

VJDJ: Are they big as you’re?

Ted: No. They’re just as the height of a human being. I just grew up a while ago and for some reason I ate this type of fruit that makes me grow larger. So we ended up moving into a big paradise so we can live better life. I heard about that you was trying to commit suicide in front of my girlfriend. Listen little man, there’s plenty of girls that you can go out with. Nobody messes with my girl, wife. She is mine and nobody moves into her. Do you understand?

VJDJ: Look Ted. I was wrong a long time ago. Since your girlfriend told me about you, I had a crush with her. I was a loner and I didn’t have a girl. When I got left back, my life got miserable. I know Cathy graduated in 1981 and I graduated the year after..

Ted: What year did you graduate VJ?

VJDJ: I graduated in 1983 but I was in the graduation in 1982 as this was my last year in high school.

Ted: Wait a minute. You said that you graduated in 1983. How can you leave school in 1982?

VJDJ: Well you see, I got left back in 1980 in the 11th grade and then moved into my senior year. The reason I graduated in 1983 is that I failed the reading compressive exam in 1982. So I needed couple of courses in order to meet my requirement for graduation.

Ted: Therefore, I am going to reprimand you motherfuker for messing with my girl.

As he grabs Little Cathy, I point into him.

VJDJ: Look, you jack ass. I know I was wrong and I reconsider that. If you’re going to kill me, then do it and I am going to kill you. After all this year, my plans going out with Cathy had failed out. I wanted to go out with her in Mc Donald’s with her as a lunch date. Your girl didn’t do nothing to impress me. Your girl went out on a school prom with one of my friend from class and she regret not doing anything for me. This is all your fault, shit head.

Little Cathy: Run VJ run!

As he drops his wife onto his hand, I ran out and climb down the green stalk. As I grabbed and slipped down into the stalk, he started to chase me. Then he climb down into the stalk. As I was looking for an axe, I took an electric saw to cut the stalk. I cut the stalk with the electric saw and timbered it down. As the tree falls down, he fells down with the tree.

[goldenshower]

Originally Posted by VJDJ(GHerrera3)

VJDJ: Look, you jack ass. I know I was wrong and I reconsider that. If you’re going to kill me, then do it and I am going to kill you. After all this year, my plans going out with Cathy had failed out. I wanted to go out with her in Mc Donald’s with her as a lunch date. Your girl didn’t do nothing to impress me. Your girl went out on a school prom with one of my friend from class and she regret not doing anything for me. This is all your fault, shit head.

[Hegemony]

To quote Alex Trebek:
"Are you English or retarded?"

[Leslie]

This story is the best! VJ, you should write a book of fairy tales. Then all the children will have cool stories to read.

The best part is when you explained to that idiot Ted, how you were in the 82' graduating class, but didn't actually graduate until 83'. You made Ted look like a huge cunt barnacle.

[noob43]

I think the world is about to end, first I agreed with "Leslie" on something and now I actually found one of VJ's stories entertaining!!!!

Hide in your bunkers.

[SexyPix]

All your beans are belong to Brooke Marks

[panthro]

Originally Posted by noob43

I think the world is about to end, first I agreed with "Leslie" on something and now I actually found one of VJ's stories entertaining!!!!

Hide in your bunkers.

[Doug]

Awesome story VJ! I can't wait for your next!

[Whitty]

Originally Posted by noob43

Hide in your bunkers.

Thinking about it. If the Cubs had won the World Series, I'd already be there.