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February, 21st, 2008, 12:18 PM
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Secret pet diaries
Recently, animal behaviorists discovered secret diaries written by a dog and a cat.
DOG DIARY 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Ran back and forth in the hall! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play tug! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! CAT DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards! They continue to pick me up and handle me, an obvious attempt to subvert me. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. Tonight I will again lay on their heads while they sleep and hope to smother them. Does the dog diary remind anyone of something you might read from Jarian, except for the proper capitalization and substituting models for activities? 
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It's only the internet until someone puts an eye out. 
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February, 21st, 2008, 12:28 PM
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lmao My cats love me...at least I think so.
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February, 21st, 2008, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
__________________
It's only the internet until someone puts an eye out.
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February, 21st, 2008, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
 ... That was the first thing that came to my mind!
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Had we but world enough, and time, This coyness, Lady, were no crime.
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February, 21st, 2008, 03:44 PM
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ha thats so funny my puppy zeke is just like that
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February, 21st, 2008, 04:01 PM
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Haha this is so true! Peyton repeats those steps everyday!
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