i'm feeling kinda low today...

[Tiggs]

so i will give away rep points to anyone who posts something that makes me smile or cheers me up

[ProTender]

sorry to hear you are down in the dumps

heres a little joke for you

why didnt god make two yogi's?

because he made a boo boo

[Siq]

:

[huh?]

[huh?]

Texas speed trap.

[mark]

Originally Posted by huh?

Texas speed trap.

"don't taser me, bro."

[huh?]

A guy goes to see his doctor about a problem that he has. Once in the surgery, the doc asks the guy what is wrong with him. The guy replies "well doc, you see I've got this problem and it's really quite embarrassing..." "Go on," says the doctor. "Well," continues the guy "I've got an orange penis..." "Never!" says the doctor "I'm sorry but I don't believe you."

So the man pulls down his trousers and underpants, 'whips it out' and sure enough there for all to see is a bright orange penis. "Well I never," says the doc. "This is a form of a rash that I have seen in other parts of the body, but never 'there', and it's normally caused by great amounts of stress in a person's life - can you tell me about your work life?"

The guy replies "well, I got sacked two months ago..." "Ah!" says the doctor, "so that must be the problem." "Well I don't think so," replies the guy, "I really hated my last job - the hours were terrible, the work was boring and my boss was a total prick. Now I've got a new job with better pay, better hours, it's interesting and my boss is cool."

"Ok," says the doc, "So that isn't the problem. What about your home life?" To this the guy replies "Well, I'm currently going through a divorce from my wife." "Ah!" says the doctor, "so that must be the problem." "Well I don't think so," replies the guy, "She was a real bitch, my ex-wife. All she did all day was nag, nag, nag - I'm so glad to be rid of her."

"Ok," says the doc, "So that isn't the problem. What about your social life?" To this the guy replies "err... well I don't really have one - most nights I just stay home, watch porn and eat Cheetos..."

[huh?]

Two women are in a noisy launderette and the first one can't hear what the other is saying "Come again?!" she asks "No this time it's mustard!"

[Siq]

Originally Posted by mark

"don't taser me, bro."

[mark]

A guy walks into a bar with a small man sitting on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. When the bartender brings the drink, the little man runs down the guy's arm, drinks the drink, and runs back up to his shoulder.

The guy orders another shot and again, the little man runs down the man's arm, drinks the drink, and runs back up his arm to his shoulder.

The guy orders a third shot and the same thing happens.

Finally, curiousity gets the better of the bartender.

"sir, why do you have a little man on your shoulders and why does he keep stealing your drinks," he asks the guy.

"one day, I was walking on the beach and I found a bottle. I rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave me a wish. I wished for a 12 inch prick . . . . "