I love 24

[Doug]

24 is my favorite show..I found this on another board and wanted to share..

JACK BAUER facts...
· Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
· If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
· If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
· Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
· If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.
· Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
· 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
· Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
· Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
· Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
· When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
· Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
· Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
· Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
· Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
· When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
· Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
· Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.
· Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
· When Jack Bauer pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
· Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
· When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
· When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
· You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
· Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
· When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
· Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".
· In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?
· Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
· Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
· In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
· What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.
· Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
· If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
· People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
· Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're f***ing dead."
· Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
· Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
· Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.
· When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.
· It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.
· If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
· The bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWJBD?"
· Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.
· After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.
· Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
· Jack Bauer is the 'i' in team.
· Nobody says 'hit me' when Jack Bauer deals Blackjack.
· When Jack Bauer jumps in a pool he doesn't get wet, the water gets Jack Bauer.
· If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
· Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
· Jack Bauers calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
· When Jack Bauer is asleep, time stops.
· Jack doesn't get morning wood. He gets morning steel. Stainless steel.
· Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
· It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed.
· Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
· On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
· Jack Bauer arm once wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
· If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.
· Drive-Thru's are open for 24 hours because if Jack Bauer wants a chalupa, Jack Bauer gets a chalupa.
· When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
· When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".
· If Jack Bauer misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.
· When Jack Bauer asks for your help, he's not asking.
· Nike doesn't show Jack Bauer advertisements because they know he'll "do it" when he's ready.
· Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using neither rock, paper nor scissors.
· Due to Jack Bauer, no one looks forward to the weekend anymore, they look forward to the weekend being over, and watching 24 on Monday.
· The cartoon that the Muslims are so angry about is really a drawing of Jack Bauer.
· Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.
· If you're holding a gun to Jack Bauer's head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.
· Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
· There are no such thing as lesbi@ns, just women who never met Jack Bauer.
· When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun.
· Metallica lets Jack Bauer download all their songs off the internet for free.
· Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
· In Poker, Jack Bauer doesn't need to bluff. He looks at opponent, tells them to fold, and they do so. Always.

Awsome!

[SexyPix]

sooooo.... how if Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris met?

[Blueyed Cass]

Soooo.... how come I never knew that you loved 24?!?!

[Doug]

Haha good point SexyPix! Similar right? I dunno Cass..I own every season on dvd.

[Kguy1326]

Ya know Janine Garrafalo is joining the cast this season.

[Pop Not Soda]

heh, every other "facts" website steals those from chucknorrisfacts.com. I've seen "Vin Diesel Facts" too.

I used to love 24... it hasn't been the same since the first three seasons.

[thetoecutter]

: that was great doug love the show cant wait till next season

[ProTender]

24 was a great show

the last season .... not so much

[Ron]

its gotten worse every year, i like the show but hope they put it out of its misery soon before it becomes a mockery of itself

[Kguy1326]

Originally Posted by Ron

its gotten worse every year, i like the show but hope they put it out of its misery soon before it becomes a mockery of itself

I agree!!!! The stuff I read on the new season has gotten me worried. Janine Garrafalo, the budget problems, a whole entire story canned due to costs, No CTU, a female president now, among other new info that keeps coming. This season may be iffy. As someone on a talkback elsewhere said, "I think the Cancellation Countdown clock has started."